Language Blend Review: Learn Spanish. Date Exotic Latinas.

I’m writing this Language Blend review because I have to. Some of you will miss out on amazing women because you can’t speak a little Spanish.

See, I wasn’t always able to speak Spanish. There were countless missed opportunities. For example…

We made eye contact with the club. I was leaning against the bar and she was standing in a booth with her friends.

She was the hottest Latina I had ever seen: about 5’8″, tan, an obvious gym goer with curves in all the right places, long straight black hair down past her curvy ass, thick lips. The works.

She smiled. I smiled back and looked away. A beat later I looked back. She was still looking my way. We locked eyes again.

I knew I had to go talk to her or I would hate myself for the rest of my life.

I walked over trying to look cool. She smiled again as I got closer – good start. I used my default opening line:

“hablas ingles?” (Do you speak English?)

She shook her head, and there was an eye roll before the head shake. She had probably heard that line hundreds of times before from gringo backpackers.

I tried to recover using the couple of other Spanish phrases I knew. But by the look on her face, either she couldn’t hear me, or didn’t understand me. Probably both.

What was clear was that she didn’t have the patience to try to understand me. She turned away and went back to dancing with her friends. My window of opportunity had slammed shut.

They say that luck is preparation meeting opportunity. I had my opportunity but I hadn’t done my preparation. And I was well out of luck.

I stood there for a couple of seconds not knowing what to do. And that’s when I first told myself: “I need to learn Spanish”.

But I quickly dismissed my resolution with a bunch of excuses, such as “I’m too busy” and “I’ll ‘pick it up’ by living in the country”.

Then I had another chance with a beautiful Latina. They say you “don’t get a second chance in fairy tales” but God decided to give me one…


The Date From Hell With the Latina Angel

On Tinder, I matched with the hottest girl I had seen in years. She was so hot I thought it was too good to be true: “She must be a prostitute or a transvestite,” I thought.

We got chatting and I got by using Google Translate. I somehow managed to clarify that she wasn’t a working girl or a ladyboy – without offending her. And I somehow managed to get to her to agree to go on a date with me.

The date was a disaster. Even though I could bullshit my way through a chat on Tinder and Whatsapp by relying on my phone, on the date it was a different matter.

All the banter we had through messaging was gone. The vibe was awkward, she was cold, and we both couldn’t wait to leave.

When I got home and checked my Whatsapp, I saw her profile pic was gone. I wondered if she had blocked me. Then I checked my Tinder and saw she had unmatched me.

That stung. And that’s when I knew I HAD to learn Spanish this time.

How I Tried To Learn Spanish at First

I tried Rosetta Stone but felt it wasn’t moving quickly enough. The course was also teaching me words I didn’t want to use and conversations I didn’t want to have.

Then I signed up for a class. It was boring as fuck. I sat there the whole time thinking: “Why are we learning this?” I looked around the class and saw all these different people: all ages, from all walks of life, and all wanting to learn Spanish for different reasons.

And yet we were all learning from the same textbook.

How could the retired couple sitting next to me who had just opened up a hostel business, need the same Spanish as me who wanted to talk a hot Latina into sharing a bed with me in my hotel?

It would be like a “keep fit” class at the gym mixed with middle-aged moms who want to lose some pounds and a bunch of skinny 17-year-olds who want to bulk up.

You wouldn’t have everybody doing the same fitness program, would you?

So I quit my Spanish class and started surfing the internet aggressively.

And that’s when I came across Language Blend.

The Language Blend program promised to teach me how to have conversations with Latin women. It promised to get conversational FAST so I could be sitting in Mexico having a Margarita with an attractive spanish-speaking female ASAP

They don’t speak English, bruh.

What You Get

The Language Blend program is broken down into six modules

  • One on One Courses: Unlimited one on one classes with native speakers via Zoom, this is the bread and butter.
  • Texting Partner: You’ll have an attractive latina to text at any time, just to shoot the shit with and practice conversational Spanish via texting.

The program can take you from not knowing Spanish all the way to ending up in bed with a Latina.- that’s where most of us begin and where all of us want to end up.

Any Downsides?

It’s obviously a bit pricy but since one hour lessons in the US can range from $40-60/hour this actually ends up being quite a good deal.

Also I’d rather have the option to choose who I want to have class with rather than their round robin system.

 

My Language Bend Review and Results

Since I’ve started, I’ve got over 30 numbers from Latinas while using Tinder, and I’ve had at least 2 dates per week for the past 2 months.

Am I now fluent in Spanish? Hell no! I’m still improving and still striving to get to fluency. I listen to podcasts every day, I listen to Latin music to improve my listening comprehension, and I learn new vocabulary to fill the information gaps I’ve identified.

But I have the confidence to introduce myself and talk about my background to make myself sound interesting and attractive. I can ask for her number, arrange a date, control the date, and then lead her back to my place.

And best of all…

I have 3 attractive Latinas that I’m seeing regularly that help me improve my Spanish. And that, hands down, is the best way to learn how to speak Spanish.

Once she’s slept with you, Latinas are more than willing to help you with your Spanish for hours on end. A girl in love with her new favourite foreigner will go the extra mile to help you learn Spanish.

Speaking of results…

Que chulaaaa.

Who Would Benefit From Language Blend?

It’s perfect for THAT guy.

I’ve met that guy in Latin America dozens of times. He always has a different name but his story and his results are always the same.

He heads down to Latin America. His main goal is to meet some lovely Latinas and have some fun.

But he doesn’t know any Spanish. He gets a few numbers from Tinder, but always gets flaked on.

The only girls he eventually gets are gringo hunters, prostitutes, or gold diggers. He has to pay for female company while the local guys are enjoying the same girls for free.

Language Blend will save that guy a lot of money and frustration.

Who else?

Any guy who likes Latin women. Even if he can’t travel or doesn’t want to travel. Study Spanish and all those hot Cuban girls in Miami, the Mexican babes in Los Angeles, that hot Colombian backpacker girl in Europe, etc. will be in your league.

The most important questions you need to ask yourself before you decide to learn Spanish is:

“What do I want to do with the language? And why do I want to learn Spanish? “

If the answer is “to talk to hot Latinas and get them into bed” then Language Blend is made especially for you.

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Papi Chulo

About the Author

Papi Chulo

Living and traveling around Latin America, Papi Chulo learned a thing or two about dating stunning Latinas. Now, he's sharing that information with the world. If you've ever wanted to meet stunning, exotic women - the time is now!